Where Caesar would be eating in Rome, if he weren't well dead
A few of my favorite, well-kept secret food spots in Rome, and free access to my Ides of March newsletter!
To celebrate one of my favorite days of the year as a history geek, here’s free access to one of my favorite newsletters, REVAMPED with a few of my favorite NEW spots in Rome for dining, dessert, and all the Caesar-approved debauchery.
Yes, my Brutus-level dirty little secrets in this city.
Happy Ides of March everyone!
Nobody wins. Ask Caesar.
-Charles Bukowski, The German Bar
*SPOILER ALERT* This newsletter may contain food indulgence, hypocrisy, bad history jokes, and conspiracy (particularly me conspiring to get my hands on another round of rigaglie di pollo e patate from Trecca. Scroll all the way down for my sluttiest eats if you are impaziente.)
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your…stomachs! It’s the Ides of March, and I’m bringing you all the betrayal, from me trying to kill Masha in Piazza Navona to Italians indeed pairing meat and fish together. And, of course, all the greatest Roman food indulgence.
Truthfully, I didn’t know precisely where Caesar was slain in Rome until 5 days ago. What’s embarrassing is the number of times I’ve stumbled past the site. My behavior wouldn’t necessarily meet Caesar’s expectations of gravitas (though I’m sure he wouldn’t turn down a good wine party).
Alas, I know better now. And, am paying my respects with this newsletter.
Ides of March Facts (and Fiction)
Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.
-Brutus, Julius Caesar, Act III, Sc. II
My bastardized revisionist history meme of which I am so very proud. What better than to combine two iconic backstabbing moments? You’re welcome for the Legally Blonde content.
Did you know that ‘Ides’ refers to the full moon, which - according to the Roman calendar - fell on the 13th or 15th of each month? The moon lost its fame in 44 BCE when 60 conspirators (and government officials, may I add) murdered Julius Caesar in Pompey’s Curia on the Ides, stabbing him 23 times.
*queues Backstabbers by The O’Jays*
Of course, the most famous back-stabbing blow is the final by Caesar’s dear friend Brutus, as Shakespeare dramatically captured in his famous play Julius Caesar. ‘E tu Brute?’ says Caesar as he takes his last breath.
What’s even stranger is the ‘Beware the Ides of March’ uttered by a soothsayer after Caesar’s military defeat of Pompey. Did the whole creepy soothsayer warning actually happen? Potentially. Shakespeare based his play on Plutarch’s account of Caesar’s life, where Caesar is in fact warned to keep an eye out when March 15th rolls around.
Did he? No, of course not. Because when do dictators listen, ever?
Caesar may have listened to something, though. And, it’s the playlist below.
My Gift to You: A Caesar-Approved Playlist
Best paired with vengeance, a glass of Cesanese, or conquering…an intense workout.
Caesar didn’t eat carbonara, by the way
Or the salad for that matter. If anything, I bet Caesar loved aphrodisiacs. Greeks and Romans believed artichokes to be aphrodisiacs actually, a big ingredient in la cucina romana.
Yet, the Roman dishes people now lose their minds over today evolved from a more recent history than that of ancient Rome. Caesar’s peeps were quite the bean-loving pescatarians. Lots of veggie soups, bread, and cheese. They were also obsessed with garum, a funky fermented fish sauce Romans apparently put on everything. It’s made by fermenting small fishies in salt. Today, we have its great great great etc… grandchild - colatura di alici.
Today, Roman food is much more dense, defined particularly by dishes with quinto quarto or the fifth quarter of the animal (aka offal.) All the yummy innards of the animal that the rich wouldn’t be bothered to eat.
Below is precisely what I say to those who chicken out of any quinto quarto dishes:
Cowards die many times before their deaths,
The valiant never taste of death but once.-Julius Caesar Act II Sc. II
Be brave. Eat weird sh*t. On that note, let’s talk about all the latest goodness I’ve been eating in Rome.
WHERE CAESAR WOULD DINE IN ROME (my current sluttiest secret eats in Rome)
Bianca Trattoria | Tagliolino friggitelli, caprino, crusco e battuta di pesce bianco. Between the hiddenness of this trattoria and the lavishness of this pasta - Caesar would be more than satisfied. He can eat like an Emperor but in a place where no one will really care. Bianca Trattoria, a new restaurant in Rome’s Prati neighborhood, is an absolute secret. It’s chill but with elevated and excellent food. This pasta - let me just say: the tang of goat cheese combines with the earthy goodness of friggitelli peppers for a tastebud overload. Add that little kick of red pepper and a juicy, salty topping of locally caught fish tartare to add some meat - just regal.
Trattoria Monti | Tagliatelle al ragu di cinghiale. This would be the place Emperors and their mistresses would only know about. Just a few steps from Roma Termini, aka the ideal location to make a run for it if your enemies (or in Caesar’s case, your best friend) were trying to kill you, is Trattoria Monti, an institution. It isn’t Roman, but rather Marchigiana - with dishes from the Le Marche region that will have you singing on tables, like fried cream or crema fritta (yes you heard that right.) And of course, they always have specials. That’s how I ended up with this elegant wild boar ragù because regular ragù is rather boring for an Emperor, don’t you think?
(Kidding.)
Panificio Marè | All the bread and pizza rossa. Poet Juvenal said that Emperors’ doings were all ‘bread and circuses,’ aka superficial, indulgent doings to distract from serious matters (you know, like tigers and orgies). But, Emperors did eat a lot of bread…and if they had to have a bread source now, I would bet my head it would be Panificio Marè. When I say this place might be the best bakery in Rome, I am full-on serious. Not only is everything good, but everything is so well made with real love and care. The bread is expertly leavened and their pizza rossa has the perfect crunch with just the right amount of tomato sauce. And then, they have dessert, where things get really dangerous.
Torta ricotta e visciole (ricotta and sour cherry jam tart). The lusciousness of soft fresh ricotta baked into an irresistibly buttery, crisp crust with zesty sour cherry jam…is not something for the commoners, ok? And, the cherry jam is so unique - visciole are special wild cherries with such a special flavor. Fortunately, it is available for us commoners, so treat yourself. My secret spots to snag this torta are Pasticceria Boccione, Panificio Marè, and (for dessert) at Piatto Romano.
This prince of a puppy - named Cesare! - was the little light of my day during my visit to Marco Carpineti, an organic winery in Cori, a town with roots deep in Roman history. Located just south of Rome, Cori was once known as Cora. This town is where Temple of Hercules stands, built by Sulla - a Roman ruler that predates Caesar, with a much similar track record of seizing Rome with his army and establishing absolute rule.
Leave the Gun, Take Marlon Brando as Mark Antony
A grand finale to this newsletter - while you all are still stuck on Brando in The Godfather, try him as Mark Antony in the 1953 film adaptation of Julius Caesar. Just yum. I mean…impressive. His monologues in the film are rich and passionate. And, let’s be real, learning Shakespeare is easier when you have a young Brando to look at.
Here’s my favorite monologue. Watch it and feel the fervor.