Nobody wins. Ask Caesar.
-Charles Bukowski, The German Bar
*SPOILER ALERT* This newsletter may contain food indulgence, hypocrisy, bad history jokes, and conspiracy (particularly me conspiring to get my hands on another round of rigaglie di pollo e patate from Trecca. Scroll all the way down for my sluttiest eats if you are impaziente.)
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your…stomachs! It’s the Ides of March, and I’m bringing you all the betrayal, from me trying to kill Masha in Piazza Navona to Italians indeed pairing meat and fish together. And, of course, all the greatest Roman food indulgence.
Truthfully, I didn’t know precisely where Caesar was slain in Rome until 5 days ago. What’s embarrassing is the number of times I’ve stumbled past the site. My behavior wouldn’t necessarily meet Caesar’s expectations of gravitas (though I’m sure he wouldn’t turn down a good wine party).
Alas, I know better now. And, am paying my respects with this newsletter.
Ides of March Facts (and Fiction)
Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.
-Brutus, Julius Caesar, Act III, Sc. II
My bastardized revisionist history meme of which I am so very proud. What better than to combine two iconic backstabbing moments? You’re welcome for the Legally Blonde content.
Did you know that ‘Ides’ refers to the full moon, which - according to the Roman calendar - fell on the 13th or 15th of each month? The moon lost its fame in 44 BCE when 60 conspirators (and government officials, may I add) murdered Julius Caesar in Pompey’s Curia on the Ides, stabbing him 23 times.
*queues Backstabbers by The O’Jays*
Of course, the most famous back-stabbing blow is the final by Caesar’s dear friend Brutus, as Shakespeare dramatically captured in his famous play Julius Caesar. ‘E tu Brute?’ says Caesar as he takes his last breath.
What’s even stranger is the ‘Beware the Ides of March’ uttered by a soothsayer after Caesar’s military defeat of Pompey. Did the whole creepy soothsayer warning actually happen? Potentially. Shakespeare based his play on Plutarch’s account of Caesar’s life, where Caesar is in fact warned to keep an eye out when March 15th rolls around.
Did he? No, of course not. Because when do dictators listen, ever?
Caesar may have listened to something, though. And, it’s the playlist below.
My Gift to You: A Caesar Approved Playlist
Best paired with vengeance, a glass of Cesanese, or conquering…an intense workout.
Caesar didn’t eat carbonara, by the way
Or the salad for that matter. If anything, I bet Caesar loved aphrodisiacs. Greeks and Romans believed artichokes to be aphrodisiacs actually, a big ingredient in la cucina romana.
Yet, the Roman dishes people now lose their minds over today evolved from a more recent history than that of ancient Rome. Caesar’s peeps were quite the bean-loving pescatarians. Lots of veggie soups, bread, and cheese. They were also obsessed with garum, a funky fermented fish sauce Romans apparently put on everything. It’s made by fermenting small fishies in salt. Today, we have its great great great etc… grandchild - colatura di alici.
Today, Roman food is much more dense, defined particularly by dishes with quinto quarto or the fifth quarter of the animal (aka offal.) All the yummy innards of the animal that the rich wouldn’t be bothered to eat.
Below is precisely what I say to those who chicken out of any quinto quarto dishes:
Cowards die many times before their deaths,
The valiant never taste of death but once.-Julius Caesar Act II Sc. II
Be brave. Eat weird sh*t. On that note, let’s talk all the goodness I ate in Rome.
The Sluttiest Things I Ate in Rome
Garum included.
Everything I ate at Trecca. Everyone told me to go to Trecca and now I know why. We were embarrassingly late to our reservation, which kept me from doing every single course. But, we managed to eat our hearts out, literally. Antipasti ordered: the Roman classic coratella d’agnello and rigaje di pollo e patate, which are essentially giblets or mixed chicken insides cooked with aromatics with roasted potatoes. So savory and the texture just perfect. Then, la carbonara of course - which was as peppery and bold as it should be - and fettuccine fatte in casa con ragù di pecora (sheep ragù.) I will report back more because I learned my lesson - always take the later reservation available so I can be on time and eat more, duh.
Tagliatelle di seppia con nocciole, puntarelle, e ‘nduja from Bottega Tirso. Admittedly, when I ordered this dish, I completely missed that it was tagliatelle di seppia, not regular tagliatelle. So, you could imagine how confused I was when I received my dish. Combining meat and seafood is definitely not something many would think Italians would do. Yet, they do, for good reason. The ‘nduja turned into almost a sauce lent a beautifully spicy compliment the seppia and the crunchy puntarelle. Bottega Tirso’s menu edges on modern and experimental with a seafood emphasis. We can’t forget how close Rome is to the sea. Listen, I love classics. But Rome isn’t just cacio e pepe all the time.
Pizza bianca con mortadella from Santi Sebastiano e Valentino. This panino is an ultra well-known Roman staple. When it’s done well, you just have to talk about it. Santi Sebastiano e Valentino is a godsent bakery on Via Tirso in zona Salario, just down the street from Bottega Tirso. The bakery gives off slightly hipster vibes, but don’t be fooled. They don’t play here. Everything is expertly made, from bread to pastries. Their bakery has a gorgeous open-air concept - their oven on display to customers, tantalizing you with sinful aromas that will make you buy more than your stomach can handle. I loved their financier, cookies, veneziana, and sweet rolls (don’t judge me; I go hard at bakeries.)
Rigatoni con la pajata e colatura from Trattoria Pennestri. Warning: what I am about to say will break your heart, especially if you are vegetarian/ vegan (although I doubt you would read this newsletter if you were.) Pajata is the intestines of milk-fed veal, aka a baby cow. It’s a super traditional Roman dish, served with rigatoni in tomato sauce. As Pennestri, they take it up a Roman notch with colatura (the descendant of garum,) a fish sauce made from fermented anchovies. It just adds this perfect umami touch I didn’t know pajata even needed. Again meat and fish together! Romans may argue about carbonara, but they love to break rules.
P.S. Their spaghettoni alla gricia with mint changed my life. That dish deserves a spotlight on its own (to come.)
This prince of a puppy - named Cesare! - was the little light of my day during my visit to Marco Carpineti, an organic winery in Cori, a town with roots deep in Roman history. Located just south of Rome, Cori was once known as Cora. In fact, this town is where Temple of Hercules stands, built by Sulla - a Roman ruler that predates Caesar, with a much similar track record of seizing Rome with his own army and establishing absolute rule.
Another post will share more on Carpineti, their delicious wines, and amazing visit. But, for now, just good puppy content!
Leave the Gun, Take Marlon Brando as Mark Antony
A grand finale to this newsletter - while you all are still stuck on Brando in The Godfather, try him as Mark Antony in the 1953 film adaptation of Julius Caesar. Just yum. I mean…impressive. His monologues in the film are rich and passionate. And, let’s be real, learning Shakespeare is easier when you have a young Brando to look at.
Here’s my favorite monologue. Watch it and feel the fervor.
New subscriber here! Omg this was hilarious and amazing, can I please teleport to Rome now?!
Beware the Ides of March! Thank you, Victoria, for such an enlightening take on March 15 and the splendors of Rome. Pajata deserved that extra love! This was a delight to read.
And anyone who remembers that monologue should thank a high school English teacher!