3 slutti secrets (nyc)

where I've been eating and exactly what to order

You think I forgot about you, kiddies? Never. The slutti secrets and sluttiest eats will never stop. They always keep coming back, no matter how much algorithm or boomer pushback I get for screaming the word SLUTti everywhere.

Because food is slutti. Get over it.

As you could probably tell, I’ve been on the Jersey / NYC side of things lately. That doesn’t mean there haven’t been any slutti food happenings. Trust me, I used to be one of those people who thought everything sucked outside of Italy because I was bitter I no longer lived in the idyllic pasta filled peninsula.

Then, I finally moved to Italy and realized - this place isn’t perfect either. Ok fine, the pasta is like paradise, and so are the pretty veggies. Still, there are things missed - like a good diner, a late-night noodle spot, or a greasy slice of NY-style pizza.

I admit it.

Hey, NYC is one of the best food cities in the world. There aren’t many places where you can walk out your door and get a good Turkish borek for breakfast, then Szechuan noodles for lunch, and finish the evening with legit Neapolitan pizza.

Che carb carnival!!!!

So, for my sweet Substack subscribers, I’m giving you my slutti secrets on where to score the best food in the tri-state area - my full order included.

Well, more like bi-state area because I have zero f*cking clue what happens in Conneticutt except for clam pizza - a sacrareligious pie to discuss another time.